Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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