AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
