if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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