STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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