i just wanna soil my oats bro
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
