shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
