i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
