she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
