It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So squirting runs in the family.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
