Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im holly from the hills drunk
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
