Apparently you make a good broom.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
