Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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