Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
