mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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