I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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