It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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