I need help removing her.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
