it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize