butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
