i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
