i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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