this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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