What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
