You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
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I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
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I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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