my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
