sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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