Can Purell be used as lube?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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