i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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