We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
