Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
