She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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