Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
