You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
