absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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