Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
