I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
