Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
