When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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