I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
