didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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