i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
babies were throwing up all over the place
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
