I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
