Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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