It's Friday. Sex?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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