No more Irish car bombs ever.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
