Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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