Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
