Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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