Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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