***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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