i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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