Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
