Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
