hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
