he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
